Challenge #34: Reasonable Measures
Sunday, 8 October 2017 11:33![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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labyficTitle: Reasonable Measures
Summary: Jareth comes to bargain with Sarah. Written in response to the challenge "dreams", and part of the general Academia theme in the "It's Academic" series.
Word count: 948
A gentle hand was shaking me awake.
“Sarah,” came the velvet voice of my most secret daydreams, “you have to stop.”
I cracked open an eyelid, saw the owner of that voice sitting next to my bed, and promptly bolted upright, pulling the sheets up as high as they would go. “Wrryrdnghr,” I managed.
Jareth, king of the goblins, arched a lovely golden eyebrow at me.
I cleared my throat and swallowed. “What are you doing here?”
His mouth quirked up in a half-smile. “I’ve come to bargain with you, of course.”
“Now? Like this?”
“It seemed the most opportune time.”
“Opportune? In what insane world?”
“This one. The one you where you recreate more of my kingdom every time you shut your eyes.”
I blinked at him.
He sighed. “Unknowingly, apparently. I suspected, but I was rather hoping it was an elaborate joke on your part.”
“Hoping that what was?”
“What you’re doing to the Labyrinth.”
My heart dropped. “What am I doing?”
…
I stood with Jareth on the hill overlooking the Labyrinth and surveyed his...our kingdom.
“The ivory cast to the tower was fine, really. Quite the pearlescent sheen. Very fetching. But then, when the university sprang up to replace the goblin town, I began to worry. Colleges were sprouting up like mushrooms, and I supposed that was alright. The goblins actually seemed rather pleased with their course schedules and their degree planning. But, Sarah, then you brought in the administrators.” The word was a hiss.
I blushed, remembering my series of run-ins with the university bureaucracy as I tried to navigate the byzantine restrictions on my major and the complicated network of exceptions and petitions.
“They are, without question, the most insufferable villains my realm has been inflicted with for centuries. Arrogant, implacable, and relentlessly irritating with their insistence on blaming someone else. They seem to exist solely to impede anything I want to do with endless red tape and excuses, not to mention create snarly, unnecessary messes. And there are so many of them. They’re like cockroaches. I annihilate one only to find three more scurrying around beneath.”
I choked slightly and tried to stifle a grin. “You’ve been annihilating university administrators in your kingdom?”
“Yes, what of it?”
“Nothing. I just wish I could do that in mine.”
He rubbed his forehead. “Mmm. Perhaps that’s why I’ve been overcome with such violent urges when it comes to them.” His lips twitched up for a moment. “I’ll admit, that instant when those officious little smiles are snuffed out is quite satisfying.”
I sighed. “I can only imagine.”
“Yes, well apparently you are. And I’d really rather you stopped. This simply can’t go on.”
I crossed my arms. “This is all subconscious. I can’t control it.”
Desperation seeped into his voice. “You have to try. Please.”
The please did it. I mean, you can’t just ignore desperation when it begs like that, especially in such a pretty Faerie lord form. “What can I do?”
He was silent for a space of heartbeats. “Can you try wanting something else with all your heart?”
“That probably falls in the I-can’t-control-it category.”
“I see. What if you had...help in your world?”
I stared at him. “What kind of help?”
“I have teams of baccalaureate and post-baccalaureate goblins. I’ve been trained in the art of administrator annihilation. Surely we can manage something.”
“You can’t...I mean, if you annihilate people in my world, someone’ll notice.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes!”
“Well, we can work on subtlety. But if you can’t change wanting to be an academic, then the only thing we can do is help you do it so that your subconscious stops taking out your frustrations here. Well,” he amended, “at least stops taking them out in this format. I can handle ornery thesis committees and capricious grant review boards.”
I blinked at him. “What?”
He shook his head. “My apologies. I’m getting ahead of myself on this time stream. Occupational hazard when you reorder time.”
My breath stopped for a moment. “You can see my future?”
“A likely future. With my help. Do you want it?”
I clamped my mouth shut before the “hell, yes” could escape, and thought seriously. This was a Faerie bargain. “What do you want in return?”
He smiled something that was one part jester and three parts devil. “Your cooperation. And perhaps I could have just a little of my previous Labyrinth back. The eyeball lichen do hate being cooped up in library stacks. They get so bored.”
I tilted my head at him. “That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“That sounds entirely too reasonable.”
“Desperate times, desperate measures.” He flicked a glance back to the Labyrinth campus and sighed. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go pummel another administrator swarm. You can see they’re about to vote to remove a border of the Bog so it overruns the Fireys completely.”
He looked utterly deflated as he turned away to go deal with the ensuing mess.
“Jareth?”
He paused and looked back at me.
“It’s a deal.”
He smiled then, a real smile like sunshine. “Splendid. I’ll be in touch.”
He made a swirling gesture and I felt myself slipping back into my world. “Jareth, wait!”
He paused his finger motions and arched an eyebrow at me.
“Do you want some help with that swarm? I’m pretty good at targeting lynchpin staff that hold an administrator group together.”
His smile brightened further, and I found myself holding a rather glittery sniper rifle.
He offered me his elbow. “That would also be splendid. Glad to have you along.”
I adjusted the heft of my rifle on my shoulder as I took his arm. “Glad to help.”
Summary: Jareth comes to bargain with Sarah. Written in response to the challenge "dreams", and part of the general Academia theme in the "It's Academic" series.
Word count: 948
A gentle hand was shaking me awake.
“Sarah,” came the velvet voice of my most secret daydreams, “you have to stop.”
I cracked open an eyelid, saw the owner of that voice sitting next to my bed, and promptly bolted upright, pulling the sheets up as high as they would go. “Wrryrdnghr,” I managed.
Jareth, king of the goblins, arched a lovely golden eyebrow at me.
I cleared my throat and swallowed. “What are you doing here?”
His mouth quirked up in a half-smile. “I’ve come to bargain with you, of course.”
“Now? Like this?”
“It seemed the most opportune time.”
“Opportune? In what insane world?”
“This one. The one you where you recreate more of my kingdom every time you shut your eyes.”
I blinked at him.
He sighed. “Unknowingly, apparently. I suspected, but I was rather hoping it was an elaborate joke on your part.”
“Hoping that what was?”
“What you’re doing to the Labyrinth.”
My heart dropped. “What am I doing?”
…
I stood with Jareth on the hill overlooking the Labyrinth and surveyed his...our kingdom.
“The ivory cast to the tower was fine, really. Quite the pearlescent sheen. Very fetching. But then, when the university sprang up to replace the goblin town, I began to worry. Colleges were sprouting up like mushrooms, and I supposed that was alright. The goblins actually seemed rather pleased with their course schedules and their degree planning. But, Sarah, then you brought in the administrators.” The word was a hiss.
I blushed, remembering my series of run-ins with the university bureaucracy as I tried to navigate the byzantine restrictions on my major and the complicated network of exceptions and petitions.
“They are, without question, the most insufferable villains my realm has been inflicted with for centuries. Arrogant, implacable, and relentlessly irritating with their insistence on blaming someone else. They seem to exist solely to impede anything I want to do with endless red tape and excuses, not to mention create snarly, unnecessary messes. And there are so many of them. They’re like cockroaches. I annihilate one only to find three more scurrying around beneath.”
I choked slightly and tried to stifle a grin. “You’ve been annihilating university administrators in your kingdom?”
“Yes, what of it?”
“Nothing. I just wish I could do that in mine.”
He rubbed his forehead. “Mmm. Perhaps that’s why I’ve been overcome with such violent urges when it comes to them.” His lips twitched up for a moment. “I’ll admit, that instant when those officious little smiles are snuffed out is quite satisfying.”
I sighed. “I can only imagine.”
“Yes, well apparently you are. And I’d really rather you stopped. This simply can’t go on.”
I crossed my arms. “This is all subconscious. I can’t control it.”
Desperation seeped into his voice. “You have to try. Please.”
The please did it. I mean, you can’t just ignore desperation when it begs like that, especially in such a pretty Faerie lord form. “What can I do?”
He was silent for a space of heartbeats. “Can you try wanting something else with all your heart?”
“That probably falls in the I-can’t-control-it category.”
“I see. What if you had...help in your world?”
I stared at him. “What kind of help?”
“I have teams of baccalaureate and post-baccalaureate goblins. I’ve been trained in the art of administrator annihilation. Surely we can manage something.”
“You can’t...I mean, if you annihilate people in my world, someone’ll notice.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes!”
“Well, we can work on subtlety. But if you can’t change wanting to be an academic, then the only thing we can do is help you do it so that your subconscious stops taking out your frustrations here. Well,” he amended, “at least stops taking them out in this format. I can handle ornery thesis committees and capricious grant review boards.”
I blinked at him. “What?”
He shook his head. “My apologies. I’m getting ahead of myself on this time stream. Occupational hazard when you reorder time.”
My breath stopped for a moment. “You can see my future?”
“A likely future. With my help. Do you want it?”
I clamped my mouth shut before the “hell, yes” could escape, and thought seriously. This was a Faerie bargain. “What do you want in return?”
He smiled something that was one part jester and three parts devil. “Your cooperation. And perhaps I could have just a little of my previous Labyrinth back. The eyeball lichen do hate being cooped up in library stacks. They get so bored.”
I tilted my head at him. “That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“That sounds entirely too reasonable.”
“Desperate times, desperate measures.” He flicked a glance back to the Labyrinth campus and sighed. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go pummel another administrator swarm. You can see they’re about to vote to remove a border of the Bog so it overruns the Fireys completely.”
He looked utterly deflated as he turned away to go deal with the ensuing mess.
“Jareth?”
He paused and looked back at me.
“It’s a deal.”
He smiled then, a real smile like sunshine. “Splendid. I’ll be in touch.”
He made a swirling gesture and I felt myself slipping back into my world. “Jareth, wait!”
He paused his finger motions and arched an eyebrow at me.
“Do you want some help with that swarm? I’m pretty good at targeting lynchpin staff that hold an administrator group together.”
His smile brightened further, and I found myself holding a rather glittery sniper rifle.
He offered me his elbow. “That would also be splendid. Glad to have you along.”
I adjusted the heft of my rifle on my shoulder as I took his arm. “Glad to help.”
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2017-10-10 10:55 (UTC)no subject
2017-10-15 18:14 (UTC)