Jareth stalked into the nursery with lupine grace and firmly shut the door. His expression was a curious mix of hunter and hunted. “You really did it.”
“I told you I would.”
“But my mother, Sarah? You know what she’s like.”
“I know exactly what she’s like. She never fails to remind me that I’m a mortal harlot who somehow seduced her darling boy, and I will never ever be good enough to even polish his boots. But on this we agree.”
Jareth crossed his arms. “Shockingly.”
“Or not, if you remember how meticulously she keeps track of everything. Is it any wonder she wouldn’t abide this pigsty of a goblin castle when it comes to raising her darling grandson?”
“Boys need messes.”
Feanor raised a grubby hand in solidarity.
I snorted. “That they might. But they also need a sanitary environment.”
A nearby goblin farted, then blew a glob of greenish snot and giggled. Feanor giggled back and reached for the glistening goo. I swooped him up before he could get there. “See?”
“What, he would touch goblin snot? Perish the thought!”
“No, he would eat goblin snot.”
Jareth’s eyebrows twitched in revulsion.
“Toddlers put everything into their mouths, Jareth. Everything. Or haven’t you noticed?”
Jareth shook his head. “You didn’t need to bring my mother into this. You could have just told me.”
“I see you’ve forgotten the ten times I previously tried.”
“You exaggerate.”
I held up a crystal ball, where images swirled of me talking to Jareth. “I kept a record of the last seven.”
He held up a hand. “Fine. You tried. I didn’t listen. But my mother, Sarah.
I smiled sweetly. “You have a harder time ignoring her when she wants your attention. So, can we now discuss a cleaning staff for a few common areas of the castle? I have a few applicants, all of whom are quite skilled in domestic magical arts. There’s a pixie in there who has the most clever scouring spell I’ve seen yet. You wouldn’t believe how many layers of crud come up at once.”
He held up both hands in surrender. “Fine. Do what you must.”
“Perfect.” I deposited Feanor into his arms.
“What’s this?”
“I have cleaning staff to interview. Spend some quality time with your son.”
“What do I get out of this?”
“A happier wife and a mother who will consent to leave our home?”
“Hmmph.”
I leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “And some quality nookie tonight.” I waggled my eyebrows.
“Quality, eh?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Done. Come, my lad, let me show you this wondrous place called the Bog—“
“Jareth!”
“Quality time, my dear.” His grin was positively fiendish. “Boys need messes. I’ll see you tonight.”
no subject
Drabble:
Jareth stalked into the nursery with lupine grace and firmly shut the door. His expression was a curious mix of hunter and hunted. “You really did it.”
“I told you I would.”
“But my mother, Sarah? You know what she’s like.”
“I know exactly what she’s like. She never fails to remind me that I’m a mortal harlot who somehow seduced her darling boy, and I will never ever be good enough to even polish his boots. But on this we agree.”
Jareth crossed his arms. “Shockingly.”
“Or not, if you remember how meticulously she keeps track of everything. Is it any wonder she wouldn’t abide this pigsty of a goblin castle when it comes to raising her darling grandson?”
“Boys need messes.”
Feanor raised a grubby hand in solidarity.
I snorted. “That they might. But they also need a sanitary environment.”
A nearby goblin farted, then blew a glob of greenish snot and giggled. Feanor giggled back and reached for the glistening goo. I swooped him up before he could get there. “See?”
“What, he would touch goblin snot? Perish the thought!”
“No, he would eat goblin snot.”
Jareth’s eyebrows twitched in revulsion.
“Toddlers put everything into their mouths, Jareth. Everything. Or haven’t you noticed?”
Jareth shook his head. “You didn’t need to bring my mother into this. You could have just told me.”
“I see you’ve forgotten the ten times I previously tried.”
“You exaggerate.”
I held up a crystal ball, where images swirled of me talking to Jareth. “I kept a record of the last seven.”
He held up a hand. “Fine. You tried. I didn’t listen. But my mother, Sarah.
I smiled sweetly. “You have a harder time ignoring her when she wants your attention. So, can we now discuss a cleaning staff for a few common areas of the castle? I have a few applicants, all of whom are quite skilled in domestic magical arts. There’s a pixie in there who has the most clever scouring spell I’ve seen yet. You wouldn’t believe how many layers of crud come up at once.”
He held up both hands in surrender. “Fine. Do what you must.”
“Perfect.” I deposited Feanor into his arms.
“What’s this?”
“I have cleaning staff to interview. Spend some quality time with your son.”
“What do I get out of this?”
“A happier wife and a mother who will consent to leave our home?”
“Hmmph.”
I leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “And some quality nookie tonight.” I waggled my eyebrows.
“Quality, eh?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Done. Come, my lad, let me show you this wondrous place called the Bog—“
“Jareth!”
“Quality time, my dear.” His grin was positively fiendish. “Boys need messes. I’ll see you tonight.”